But I don’t like to be boxed in––isn’t literature supposed to expand our horizons? I like reading about other cultures, other points of view, so I assume others do too. I’m always happy when someone challenges me to read something out of my usual choices–say science fiction, and then I’m opened to something new.

Melissa Connelly – 24 November 2024

The Back Flap

Reminiscent of Hello Beautiful and The Lying Life of Adults, this powerful narrative delves into social changes from 1970 to 2000 and captures a woman’s journey in a pre-#MeToo era via the tale of a mother who returns to her hometown to face the perpetrator of her childhood abuse.

When a young girl feels complicit in her own abuse, how does that thwart her attempts to build a happy life as an adult woman?

When disturbing memories begin to surface, Marti returns to the small Vermont town she ran away from thirty years ago to face her demons. She drags her unwitting teenage daughter along on the journey—heightening already existing tension between mother and daughter. But Marti is determined to achieve what she’s returned home for: forgiveness for lies told, and revenge for secrets held.

Exploring the vast social changes that took place between 1970 and 2000 and turning a critical eye on times before language such as #MeToo helped give voice to these all-too-common occurrences, What Was Lost is a raw, powerful tale of one woman confronting the ghosts of her past.

About the book

What is the book about?

It’s about an adult woman, Marti, whose daughter’s adolescence is kicking up disturbing memories from her own past. She returns to the small Vermont town she ran away from thirty years ago to face her demons. She drags her unwitting and unwilling teenage daughter along on the journey heightening already existing tensions between them. But Marti is determined to achieve what she’s returned home for: forgiveness for lies told, and revenge for secrets held.

Exploring the vast social change from 1970 to 2000, in times before language such as #MeToo helped give voice to these all-too-common occurrences, What Was Lost is a raw tale of one woman confronting the ghosts of her past.

The central questions it asks is: When a girl feels complicit in her own abuse, how does that thwart the adult woman? And how can she overcome this?

When did you start writing the book?

I began writing it in 2008 and by 2010 I had a complete draft.

How long did it take you to write it?

After I had my first draft in 2010, I began trying to publish. All the while I was rewriting it. I must have gone through a hundred drafts and that is not an exaggeration! I’d put it aside for a while, but then some idea or glimmer would pull me back in and I’d give it a fresh look and start again. Finally in 2022 I had a contract. Of course, I rewrote more to be sure the book achieved what I wanted it to achieve.

Where did you get the idea from?

It was a far too common story when I was young; the sexual boundaries between adults (particularly ones in mentoring roles) and children, were crossed. It was hidden, yet at the same time, accepted. I felt this needed to be told.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

All of it! I never find writing easy, but I did have a steady vision of where I wanted to go and that certainly helped. Interestingly, some of what I think are the best parts of the book were the unexpected parts I didn’t plan; they just poured out of me—the hitchhiking scene is an example of that.

What came easily?

The early childhood and hospital scenes came the easiest. I’ve often written about children and often from their point of view. I feel uniquely able to put myself in a child’s mind—my memories of how I felt and who I was as a child are as vivid as my current life. I’ve also had a long career working with children including working as a pediatric nurse, so I felt confident in my ability to portray the hospital scenes.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

They are all fictional, although the character of Peter’s mother, Mrs. Colgan is loosely based on a childhood friend’s mother—or at least on the way I felt about her.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you? 

I’ve learned from almost everyone I’ve read—not sure I can say who has influenced me but certainly writers I read when I was young increased my desire to write, examples of those are Carson McCullers, James Baldwin, Margret Drabble. They touched something in me that gave me courage to write my story. Some writers working today that I admire are: Claire Keegan, Elena Ferrante, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Mistry Rohinton, Eleanor Henderson, and Tommy Orange. The early death of Anthony Veasna So was a tragedy; I’d have loved to see what else he’d have written. The passing of Russell Banks hurt my heart.

Do you have a target reader?

Women will relate to the book, and anyone interested in the period of the late sixties, early seventies. It’s a coming-of-age story and explores parent child relationships.

But I don’t like to be boxed in––isn’t literature supposed to expand our horizons? I like reading about other cultures, other points of view, so I assume others do too. I’m always happy when someone challenges me to read something out of my usual choices–say science fiction, and then I’m opened to something new.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I wish I had a schedule; discipline is not my forte. But I usually try to get a draft out without looking at it, just keep going until it’s on a road somewhere and stop in the middle so I have a thread to pick up the next day (that was advice I read Hemmingway gave once).

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I don’t outline; in fact, as a student that was always the task I found most burdensome in writing papers. I’d write the outline after I was done with the paper! I do sometimes plan in my mind. This novel I ruminated on for a year before I put down a word and did have a structure in my head.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

If it’s something short I try to get the first draft all finished before I look at it, almost with my eyes closed. As I’m writing I’m thinking: This sucks. It’s useless. I’m a terrible writer. Why am I bothering? When I finally look, I’m like: Oh wait, maybe there’s something here. I can work with this bit. Editing is the easiest part for me and often the most enjoyable. When I keep crafting a sentence, paragraph, or scene until I get it to soar—well, that’s the most fun.

Did you hire a professional editor?

 No, I didn’t. I thought about it many times, but as I kept rewriting and editing so many times myself, I concluded in the end It wasn’t needed and the publisher agreed.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

I don’t. Yet I prefer to write away from home where often there’s music in a coffee shop and I can find the that distracting, particularly if it’s music I know and like. Although if I’m really in the zone, nothing distracts me. And then sometimes, if I’m stuck, taking a pause to look around, eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, or listen to the music helps as a reset moment.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

Sigh. Yes, many agents. Sometimes, I’d get a nibble and then nothing. But mostly, never heard back. Very hard out there and particularly if you have no connections, your query may not even be read.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

It was gradual as I’d tried for many years. I really wanted to see this book out there and felt that was standing in the way of me moving forward as a writer.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

The publishing house did it and while it was not what I envisioned, it’s probably better. I’m very happy with it.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

Winging it. Which seems to be how I do everything in my life. But I did hire a publicist and that has been extremely helpful.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Be sure your book is done to your satisfaction before putting it in someone else’s hand, and know that once you do, you’ll have a lot of work, and you’ll need time for that. It’s a learning curve; the phrase: live and learn is unfortunately, in that order, although we wish it went the other way.

About You

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in the suburbs of New York City, but I never felt at home there. I left home at sixteen and moved to Vermont where the novel is set. Reflecting on why I set the novel in Vermont, I think it’s because it was the first place I that I did feel at home.

Where do you live now?

I’ve lived most of my adult life in Brooklyn, NY where I happily still live. I also spend time at a second home in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I’m sixty-eight and this my first published novel. I hope that gives others confidence; the unexpected can always happen.

What are you working on now?

I’m working on a second novel; it’s bit more autobiographical which makes it harder. I don’t like to say too much because once you talk about what you’re writing, it takes a bit of the pressure off to write and I need the pressure.

End of Interview:

For more from Melissa Connelly visit her website and follow her on Facebook.

Get your copy of What Was Lost from Amazon US.