I knew instinctively what to do, where to look in my journals, how to organize the story of my journey in a way that might help others find solace as well as providing them with some practical ideas for coping with altered circumstances.

Gwen Suesse – 10 September 2024

The Back Flap

Planet Widow is a story of rebirth. With the sudden death of Gwen’s beloved husband, she landed without warning on Planet Widow, an utterly barren landscape with nothing in sight – only total desolation with mind-bending disorientation and soul-piercing heartache as her sole companions. She had no vision of what life could look like in such a place.

Gwen’s book describes the trail of insights that knit themselves together to restore her sense of wholeness as a newly single person. While she couldn’t eradicate grief, she could learn profound lessons from it. Finding the courage to be open to it as a fierce teacher, she slowly lived her way into a new realization of self that includes grief, transforming disorientation into grounding and a measure of peace within the altered context of living on her own.

About the Book

When did you start writing the book?

January 2023.

How long did it take you to write it?

Five Months.

Where did you get the idea from?

After 15 years of widowhood I had a sudden inspiration, an “aha” about a missing piece in my understanding of how to live without my beloved partner.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

Oddly, no. Once that key thought presented itself, the structure was magically apparent. I knew instinctively what to do, where to look in my journals, how to organize the story of my journey in a way that might help others find solace as well as providing them with some practical ideas for coping with altered circumstances.

What came easily?

As mentioned above, the idea for the structure simply showed up. All I had to do was follow the breadcrumbs: literally, since that metaphor is the backbone of the structure of my book.

Once I identified the essay topics, it was a matter of writing titles on sticky notes and playing around with their arrangement on a large sheet of paper until I was happy with the progression.

One essay effortlessly led to the next, the ideas pouring from me almost faster than I could type. Of course, there were times when I stalled, looking for the right word or transition, but the project was disconcertingly easy, I think because it percolated behind the scenes for so long. By the time it surfaced, the framework was fully formed, needing only to be recorded and then, of course, to be subjected to improved drafts and scrupulous professional editing.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

This is a memoir, my personal record of my process of coming to terms with grief.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

I have been particularly influenced by essayists – Anne Lamott, Mark Nepo, Cheryl Strayed, and Maggie Smith come to mind. It’s difficult to articulate exactly how they have influenced me because I think it is very, very important to find one’s own voice and not try to sound like someone else. I suppose my biggest takeaways from these authors are a sense of proportion and structure – the length of given pieces and not asking the reader to consider too many issues concurrently. Also, it’s interesting to note that many of my favorite authors make wide use of epigraphs, something I also do.

Do you have a target reader?

People who are struggling with grief, especially widows and widowers.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

Although my inspirations tend to come from my hand-written journals, when I’m working on a manuscript I write on my computer, using a large monitor where I can easily rearrange my thoughts, toggle between screens, and save various versions until I feel like I’ve found the “keeper.”

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

Since I write essays, my outline consists of a list of possible topics that I play around with how to arrange.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

Both, although I am careful not to get lost in the quagmire of seeking perfection too soon. It can be easy to lose forward motion if you’re always looking over your own shoulder, second-guessing word choices or propelling negative messages into the mix. Get something on the page! It is easy to make something better, but it’s got to be there first!

Also, I once read that you start writing to get to the beginning. At the time, I thought that was an odd observation but that is exactly what I experienced with my first book. I think I was about 40 pages in when I realized what it was that I really wanted to say and where and how to begin saying it. There it was: the beginning. Those first 40 pages landed on the cutting room floor as I took off on the path I hadn’t realized I was seeking.

Did you hire a professional editor?

I hired two editors. First, a trusted writer friend. Second, a professional editor for two rounds, because it felt important to have her take a second look at the manuscript after incorporating her initial counsel. For good measure, I also hired a professional proofreader.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

Absolutely not, probably because I am a musician by training and cannot listen casually to any music. I’m too busy noticing the key it’s in, (I have perfect pitch) the harmonic progressions, how the piece is put together, etc. It’s laughable, really, but music can be only a full participation/no distractions activity for me. I write only in silence.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

No.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher?

My first book included full-color plates of art, making the process of getting it published extremely challenging. I sought agents with no luck – not surprising for a new author. Serendipitously, I found my way to a source who helped me get the book produced.

I knew I did not have the heart or the energy to go through such a long, hard slog again, looking for agents, etc. etc. so I researched alternatives and learned about independent publishing models (as opposed to vanity publishing). It is important to me to be as professional as possible. I was glad to learn there was a way for unknown writers to accomplish this.

Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

Researching took some time, of course, but once I found the right sources I was able to narrow down quickly to the providers who seemed most appropriate to my goals.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

My cover was professionally designed.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

Part of my overall plan included hiring a publicist firm to help me put some key pieces in place as I launch my project.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Research your options extensively. DO NOT shortcut this part of the process! Talk to multiple potential providers.

Once you come to a decision, go for it whole-heartedly, without reservation. Don’t waste energy wondering if you should have chosen differently. Many roads can lead to the same place . . .

About You

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in a small town in upstate New York. Following that, I went to New York City for college, then to Boston for graduate school. I started teaching in Clinton, New York and went on to live in the greater Syracuse area after I married. Career-wise, I have worked as a choral director and music teacher, as well as in various human resources positions. I am a certified life coach with advanced training in grief support.

Where do you live now?

Currently, I am blessed to live in Tryon, North Carolina, a small town in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Tryon has a remarkable presence of the arts, music, and cultural opportunities for a town of its size, attracting many artists, musicians, and writers to make their homes here.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I survived! I lost my beloved husband, the one person I loved more than anyone else, the one I couldn’t imagine living without . . . and I survived. Survived, and learned new depths of understanding and compassion. I found new meaning and new possibilities. As the Lenny Kravitz song goes, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.”

What are you working on now?

I am working on pulling the promotional pieces together for this present project. Not sure what will come after that . . .

End of Interview:

For more from Gwen Suesse visit her website.

Get your copy of Notes from Planet Widow from Amazon US or Amazon UK.