The story was so shocking and upsetting, I knew I had to try to investigate and find out what really had taken place at the beginning of my life.

Patti Eddington – 7 May 2024

The Back Flap

Patti Eddington always knew she was adopted, and her beloved parents seemed amenable enough to questions—but she never wanted to hurt them by expressing curiosity, so she didn’t. The story of her mother cutting off and dying her hair when she was a toddler? She thought it was eccentric and funny, nothing more. When she discovered at fifteen that her birthday wasn’t actually her birthday? She believed it when her mother said she’d changed it to protect her from the “nosy old biddies” who might try to discover her identity.

It wasn’t until decades later, when a genealogy test led Patti to her biological family (including an aunt with a shocking story) and the discovery of yet another birthday, that she really began to integrate what she thought she knew about her origins. Determined to know the truth, she finally petitioned a court to unseal records that had been locked up for almost sixty years—and began to put the pieces of her past together, bit by painstaking bit.

Framed by a brief but poignant 1963 “Report of Investigation” based on a caseworker’s one-day visit to Patti’s childhood home, The Girl With Three Birthdays tells the story of an adoptee who always believed she was the answer to a couple’s seventeen-year journey to become parents, until a manila envelope from a rural county court arrived and caused her to question . . . everything.

About the book

What is the book about?”

The Girl with Three Birthdays —  An Adopted Daughter’s Memoir of Tiaras, Tough Truths, and Tall Tales is the story of the (surprising) discoveries I made when I had my adoption records unlocked after almost six decades locked in a courthouse vault.  It is also about the love of family and an homage to adoptive parents.

When did you start writing the book?

March 2020

How long did it take you to write it?

About two years. It was definitely a Covid project.

Where did you get the idea from?

About 18 months before I approached the court for my records, I received the results of an ancestry.com test. When I contacted biological relatives and met them only a few weeks later, they told me a story I’d never heard about what happened before my adoption. The story was so shocking and upsetting, I knew I had to try to investigate and find out what really had taken place at the beginning of my life.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

Only in the writing, the submitting , the editing and the publishing. Obviously, I struggled with everything. Taking a book from an idea to the shelves of a bookstore is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. But, ultimately, it has also been a joyous journey.

What came easily?

Writing the chapters about my parents; Millie and Jim Eddington. Telling the story of the family that adopted me was my foremost goal.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

Absolutely. I love reading memoir in particular. My favorites include Mary Karr, Jeanette Walls (the opening chapter of The Glass Castle is one of the best things I’ve ever read) J. R. Moehringer, and Haven Kimmel. Truman Capote is the first author I ever adored.

Do you have a target reader?

Because of the nature of my memoir, I’m pretty sure women are going to be the most interested and likely adoptive parents and adopted children of all ages. I do want to urge caution that my story is simply that. I’m not in any way speaking for other adoptees.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I write when I can and where I can. My life is so busy, I just try to fit it in. I’m working on a second memoir — or trying to work on a second memoir, at least. I despair about finding the time.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I did not outline this book. But when I sent it for submission my publisher — She Writes Press — asked for chapter summaries, so I kind of made them up and then followed what I had written. It was actually very helpful.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

I edit constantly. As I’m writing, the next day. I keep reading over what I’ve done and trying to perfect it. I’m not sure it’s the best method, but it’s what I do.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

Absolutely. For the last 11 years I’ve been a dance fitness instructor, so music is an incredibly important part of my life. I often listen to my sets as I write and in that case I’m hearing a lot of pop music — Dua Lipa, Doja Cat, Harry Styles, Justin Bieber.  I’m lucky I love all genres of music. If I could only listen to a few artists the rest of my life, they would include Michael McDonald, Boz Scaggs, and any of the Rat Pack. My dog is named Dave Brubeck, so obviously, I love jazz, as well.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

I did not. I have a good friend who is a traditionally published writer and I’ve learned/heard enough that the process probably wouldn’t work for me.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

I learned about She Writes Press (SWP) and the mission of founder Brooke Warner from an acquaintance, watched her TED talk and made that my goal. Brooke’s mission is to help excellent writers  who don’t have a  huge platform, but do have a good story, get published. I feel very fortunate my book was selected.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

SWP has incredible designers. They had me fill out a cover memo with all sorts of information, things I hoped to achieve, images of other covers which appealed to me, and then sent me five of the most beautiful choices. Any of them would have been gorgeous and attention grabbing.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

I hired a really amazing publicity company— BookSparks— and their staff has been incredible at handholding and also getting the book noticed. I appreciate it all but especially the handholding.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Develop a thick skin and try to remember your book is not YOU — it’s simply a book. Also, let the people you hire do their job and understand that they really are on your side.

About You

Where did you grow up?

Morrice, Michigan

Where do you live now?

Spring Lake, Michigan

What would you like readers to know about you?

I’m married to my high school sweetheart, have one beautiful daughter and an amazing grandson. I spent the bulk of my career as a newspaper and magazine journalist.

What are you working on now?

A second memoir based on the sometimes poignant, sometimes hysterically funny stories I’ve gathered being married to a veterinarian for 42 years. The working title is Don’t Look in the Freezer.

End of Interview:

For more from Patti Eddington visit her website and follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and her Facebook page for this book.

Get your copy of The Girl with Three Birthdays from Amazon US or Amazon UK.