I’m fascinated with the first crush experience and how it molds us as we grow up. My first real crush was Shaun Cassidy at nine years old and I feel super nostalgic about it; it was the most innocent and joyful “relationship” I’ve ever had!

Kristin Nilsen –

The Back Flap

Rory Calhoun is the perfectly perfect teen superstar who’s inspiring first crushes all over the globe. Millie Jackson is just one of the millions of fans who love him—but that doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t break for him every single day in this laugh-out-loud coming-of-age story. How many of Rory’s fans collect “data” about him in a special notebook hidden in their underwear drawer? Or have faked a fascination with whale migration for a chance to visit his hometown? Millie may not be Rory’s only fan at Susan B. Anthony Middle School, but she’s convinced she’s the biggest—and the best. Rory’s new song Worldwide Crush is climbing the charts, and his lyrics are clear: he’s looking for love—and he’s looking in the audience. Meaning Millie’s secret fantasies of running in the surf and eating waffles with Rory may not be crazy after all . . . she could be that girl! But first she has to get to his concert—his completely sold-out concert in a city nowhere near her home for which she does not have tickets or a ride. She just has to figure out how.

About the book

What is the book about?

Worldwide Crush is about one girl’s quest to cross paths with her first crush, a 15-year-old global superstar named Rory Calhoun. Millie is just one of the millions of people who love him but that doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t break for him every single day; his perfect teeth and messy hair and that faint smattering of freckles across his nose make Millie feel like she’s truly in love. When Rory’s song Worldwide Crush slides into the number one spot, the world takes notice because in the lyrics is a confession: Rory is looking for love. And he’s looking in the audience. This tells Millie that her secret fantasies of splashing in the surf and eating waffles together may not be crazy; she could be that girl, right? How far will she go to make her dreams come true? It turns out it’s a lot. And it strangely involves whales.

When did you start writing the book?

I started writing the book nine years ago which means that, if Millie were a real person, she would be graduating from college right now (!).

After blogging and writing humor and lifestyle pieces online, a good friend of mine (a young adult author), took me to lunch and very seriously announced, “I want you to write a novel.” I immediately refused. “I don’t write fiction,” I said. And she volleyed with a stern, “Do it anyway.” It was like a sage inviting me to my destiny. Millie was born in my brain the next day.

How long did it take you to write it?

I finished the first draft in two years and edited it gobs of times over the next six years. Some of those edits were with agents and book coaches. One was even for an editor who ended up passing on the book (that one hurt).

Where did you get the idea from?

I’m fascinated with the first crush experience and how it molds us as we grow up. My first real crush was Shaun Cassidy at nine years old and I feel super nostalgic about it; it was the most innocent and joyful “relationship” I’ve ever had! It was all about me and what I liked and there was NO chance he could reject me. I had the freedom and security to be my true self in all my fantasies. He was like my practice boyfriend.

My interest in the crush phenomenon started when, as an adult, I casually ended up at a David Cassidy concert (another early crush). I told myself I was there ironically. But when he came out on stage and started singing those old songs, something happened to me – it was like time travel. And when he came into the audience to sing to the crowd, I popped up out of my chair and threw my arms around him! I just held on while he sang! Luckily, I had a moment of clarity that told me to peel my hands off of him so they wouldn’t call security. I always think how embarrassing it would’ve been to call my husband from jail and ask him to bail me out after I wrapped myself around David Cassidy.

After that, I started asking people about their own crush stories. It’s amazing how people’s eyes light up when you ask ‘who was your first crush?’  Everyone has some feelings, long buried, about that first practice-boyfriend or girlfriend who never rejected them. I just thought that was a story I could tell truly and authentically.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

Yes! I actually wrote the ending of the book first. It was an emotional experience that allowed me to embody my 12-year-old self and watch while her dreams played a cat and mouse game with reality. But I had trouble figuring out how to get her to that place. I didn’t want to MacGyver a plot to fit my ending; it had to be more organic and realistic than that.  And so there are five or six drafts sitting on my shelf where I experimented with ways to get to that ending. The ending never changed. That was always the most organic thing about the book.

What came easily?

Writing about the feelings. It’s like I have a seventh grader living in my head – and it was an absolute gift to revisit all those feelings and put them into words. It was like completing a circle.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

For me, fiction is truth. There is almost nothing in this book that didn’t come from something in real life. Millie certainly carries around a lot of my old baggage. Millie’s mom, Carrie, is both me and my mom. Her Grandma Cheryl is both my grandma and my husband’s grandma (who really did get banned from her local Burger King). And all the hilarious/poetic musings that come from Millie’s little brother, Billy, were all uttered in real life by my now-adult son.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

There was no other author who impacted my childhood more than Judy Blume. Her influence is so great, I often say she is the co-creator of this book. She said the quiet part out loud – what we’re really thinking and feeling instead of what adults want us to think and feel –  and it set us all free. Just like Margaret and Sally J. Freedman and Sheila and Peter Hatcher, my characters aren’t going through anything unusual – but that doesn’t mean it’s not important.

Do you have a target reader?

Despite people’s attempt to call Worldwide Crush a young adult book, it is deliberately and willfully written for a middle grade audience. People are often uncomfortable with children having crushes even though it’s the most natural and age-appropriate thing in the world. So they try to call my book a romance and say it’s for teens. Neither of those things is true. Millie is 12 years old. She is on the verge of transitioning into her teen self but she’s still in process. And most teens have grown out of their celebrity crushes and have moved on to IRL crushes — so unless they’re feeling nostalgic about their childhood crush, this story wouldn’t be for them.

Speaking of which, several reviewers have identified Worldwide Crush as a fun read for older teens and adults who have warm, fuzzy feelings about their childhood crushes. I couldn’t agree more! So whether you’re in middle school or middle age, I guess this book is for anyone who’s ever had a crush.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

Oh my goodness, I wish. I try to design routines and schedules but nothing ever sticks. Instead I write what comes to me, when it comes to me. Sometimes that means I sit and stare at my computer screen and type and delete and type and delete all day long. And other times that means I’m stumbling around the bathroom in the middle of the night searching for a pen, scratching out ideas on the back of a receipt by the light of my phone.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I love outlining! It’s a great procrastination tool! No, seriously, I do love outlining. It’s just that the outline never sticks. It’s a way to organize my thoughts and brainstorm new ways of getting from point A to point B but I never ever stick with the plan.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

Both! I used to edit as I went because I wasn’t able to leave something imperfect on the page. Then I realized how much longer that method requires to finish a first draft. Plus editing as I go does not mean I won’t need to edit when I’m done (countless times). Now I take a hybrid approach, a worst of both worlds approach: I edit as I go knowing that I will also need to do a big edit(s) when I’m done. No shortcuts for me, I guess.

Did you hire a professional editor?

When my manuscript kept getting rejected, I hired an editor to do a manuscript evaluation. That helped me see that I was on the right track and the rejections may have been more about the market than the writing or the story.

I also benefited from professional copy editing and formatting services. This freed me up to focus on the craft of writing instead of getting bogged down in grammar and keystrokes.

When I wrote my second book (no pub date yet), I hired an editor to evaluate the pages as I wrote. This shortened the drafting process by about a year.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

I don’t listen to music while I work but I do listen before; I have playlists that speak to the feelings of the characters and help me get into their headspaces. For Worldwide Crush, I listened to the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield on repeat. It became Millie’s theme. She is unwritten, undefined, the pen is in her hand, her ending unplanned. These are the words of someone transitioning from childhood into adolescence, she has a goal in the distance, so close she can almost taste it, she just has to release her inhibitions … feel the rain on your skin … you get the idea.

And while I write, I often listen to binaural beats with headphones. It’s a specific vibration that helps with focus and creativity.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

I submitted for about a year until I successfully found my agent at a pitch conference . She was a great champion of Worldwide Crush but after a year of rejections from publishers, she suggested it was time to put it in the drawer and move on to the next project. I, however, was not ready to do that. So I started looking for other ways to get Worldwide Crush published.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process? 

It was a gradual process. The feedback I got from agents, editors and book coaches was that Worldwide Crush was worthy of being published. But the gatekeepers kept turning it away. It didn’t always make sense. Eventually, I decided to get over the need to be “chosen” and, instead, step outside the traditional publishing world. In order to take this step, I had to be confident that my book was good even without the approval of a Big 5 publisher. Once I had sufficient confirmation from people in the industry, I submitted to the hybrid publisher, She Writes Press.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

The cover is designed by a professional cover designer at She Writes. They’re actually known for their high-quality covers which is one reason I chose to submit to them. No matter what your teacher told you, people definitely judge a book by its cover and it felt very make-or-break to me. Especially because my story may appear to be one thing on the outside (fluffy first crush, celebrity-style) but deliver something very different on the inside (humor! a quirky grandma! poignant coming–of-age arc!). I was so afraid the cover wouldn’t sell the story properly.

I also have very strong opinions about cover art for middle grade books right now – there’s a trend that is so strong, it makes every book look exactly the same. I won’t say what that trend is because I don’t want to throw anyone under the bus, but I will say I needed a professional to make sure my cover stood out from the rest. 

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

A professional book marketer said something that stuck with me: “No one can read a book they’ve never heard of.” That woke me up. I realized I didn’t write this book for no one to read it –  and I needed to invest time, energy and money in a plan to make sure people DO hear about it. I’m taking this part of my job very seriously. I’m committed to talking about, writing about, and posting about Worldwide Crush full-time for the next year with the help of PR professionals.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Get good feedback – is this book good? Is it ready? –  and then give yourself permission to be your own change-agent. There’s a time to stop groveling and open the door yourself.

About You

Where did you grow up?

I’m one of the few people who have spent time in every setting of American residential life: urban, suburban and rural. My most formative years were spent in St. Paul, Minnesota and the Minneapolis suburbs. Before moving to Minnesota, I lived in a small town in Northern California. This is why the Northern California coast becomes an important setting for some of Millie’s best crush fantasies.

Where do you live now?

After living all over the country, I’ve chosen Minneapolis as my home. I’m not sure I could ever live in a city without lakes.

What would you like readers to know about you?

For me, Worldwide Crush is very personal; it’s not just a fluffy story about a crush. Instead, it’s a love letter to the things that were important to me at a certain time in my life. And I’m kind of irritated by how people often demean or even disdain the things that young girls like. And that’s often because stereotypical boy stuff has more status than stereotypical girl stuff; it’s not fair. And it’s super sexist. Instead of having their crushes validated and honored for their importance, girls might get the message that their crushes are dumb and their feelings aren’t to be trusted. This is also true for boys who have crushes; whether that crush is on a male celebrity or a female celebrity, they’re sure to hide it if it makes them feel vulnerable to the disdainful people around them. This is a horrible way to treat something that is both natural and helpful to us as we grow up.

And so, in this book, I hold my own first crush in my hands and celebrate it. Like I said before, it was the most joyful and innocent relationship I’ve ever had! I got to be my most authentic self and there was absolutely no chance of getting dumped! How awesome is that?

What are you working on now?

I’ve already finished a sequel to Worldwide Crush. And now I’m working on a project with a writer-friend inspired by her experience as a Korean adoptee growing up in the 1980s. She’s a doodle artist so her feelings will be lovingly illustrated in all sorts of charming, earnest detail.

End of Interview:

For more from Kristin Nilsen visit her website and follow her on Instagram.

Get your copy of Worldwide Crush from Amazon US or Amazon UK.