I struggled with how much of my mistakes and insecurities to divulge and how much to withhold. In the end, I decided to withhold nothing, because I learned so much from my mistakes, and I hope others will learn from theirs and not be overwhelmed or discouraged by them. We are all human, so mistakes are inevitable.

Suzanne Marriott – 6 July 2023

The Back Flap

Amid the many obstacles she and her husband, Michael, face after his diagnosis with multiple sclerosis, Suzanne learns to be a compassionate caregiver both for him and, ultimately, for herself. Through love, psychological insights, and spiritual inquiry, she cultivates her abilities–and gains the courage to confront a medical system that saves her husband multiple times–but at other times threatens his life. Despite Michael’s many hospitalizations, he makes miraculous recoveries that bring fun and adventure back into their lives. When Suzanne faces her own medical crisis with cancer, their world is once again shaken–yet throughout it all, love is their bond, one even death cannot sever. Candid and illuminating, Suzanne’s story of growth through caregiving will appeal to anyone facing a life-changing crisis and seeking hard-won wisdom, comfort, and hope.

About the book

What is the book about?

My book is a memoir about my spiritual and psychological transformation over the ten years I cared for my husband, Michael, who suffered from multiple sclerosis.  

When did you start writing the book?

I kept detailed journals over the ten years of my caregiving journey and, after my husband’s death, these journal entries became the basis for my memoir. So, my story began with my husband’s diagnosis, and the book began shortly after his death.

How long did it take you to write it?

Writing my memoir took fifteen years. I began by writing my husband’s story, because, after having been so focused on him over the ten years of his illness, I was still putting his story up front. Gradually, I began to revise my book to focus on my journey, my story, about how I changed and grew during those ten years. Of course, his story is still there, but the focus shifted.

Where did you get the idea from?

The idea grew organically as I contemplated those ten years and how significant they had been for me. My hope was that, by sharing my journey, my story would benefit others who are undergoing a significant change in their lives, by offering inspiration, understanding, and companionship.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

I struggled with how much of my mistakes and insecurities to divulge and how much to withhold. In the end, I decided to withhold nothing, because I learned so much from my mistakes, and I hope others will learn from theirs and not be overwhelmed or discouraged by them. We are all human, so mistakes are inevitable.

I also struggled in writing the parts where my husband suffered. These rekindled my trauma as I watched, often helplessly, as he suffered. I knew these were important things to include, so, of course, I did.

What came easily?

Michael had amazing remissions during his illness, times that allowed travel and adventure back into our lives. It was easy to write about these times, because they were good times when MS didn’t dictate our lives. We learned not to focus on what we couldn’t do, but rather on how we could still do the things we loved. Of course, this required forethought and accommodations.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

All of the people in my story are real world people. The only names that I have changed are those of the doctors, to protect their anonymity.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

I was particularly drawn to three writers while I was still in high school: Hemingway, Steinbeck, and Faulkner. From the Hemingway I learned economy of language, from Steinbeck I learned the power of story, and from Faulkner, the intrigue of exploring the interior of a character through his steam of consciousness. I also loved James Joyce’s Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, but left Ulysses for college. So my love of literature began early.

I majored in English as an undergraduate, so I read widely, and still do. I especially loved reading Shakespeare during that time.

More recently, I have enjoyed reading Frank McCourt whose Irish voice I so appreciate. He takes me inside his stories with such immediacy and vibrancy. I was impressed with the authenticity and craft of both Cheryl Strayed and Elizabeth Gilbert and mesmerized by reading Michelle Obama’s Becoming and Barak Obama’s Dreams of My Father. The latter gave me a new appreciation of my own heritage, and I relearned the power of divulging the personal and the implicit universality that is contained therein.

Do you have a target reader?

My target readers are fellow caregivers and anyone experiencing a life-changing event.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

I’m not a morning person, so mostly I write in the afternoons. Usually, I go until I can’t concentrate anymore. I know I should take breaks, but often I get so caught up in the process that I forget to do that.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I don’t outline. I just let the writing unfurl. Then I do a lot of revising/editing. In much of my initial writing, I just step back and let the words flow.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

I do both, though mostly the latter.

Did you hire a professional editor?

I am working with She Writes Press, but a developmental editor that I hired before that was instrumental in my work. Her name is Diana Spechler.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

No.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

I only submitted to one agent, a woman I met at an LA Writing Conference. Initially, she was enthusiastic about representing my book, but later realized she was overbooked.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

After being rejected by the agent mentioned above and several publishers that I contacted directly, I decided that it was most important to get my work out to the public, especially my target audience. So I was accepted by hybrid publisher, She Writes Press, and have found this to be a very positive and rewarding experience.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

My book cover was professionally done by She Writes Press, who are known for their wonderful book covers.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

I have been working with Jackie Karneth at Books Forward as my publicist. I have been very happy with their marketing plan.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

I would encourage any author to know and research their target audience and to have a reason for publishing beyond the monetary, for very few actually make money. The most important thing is to benefit others, your readers.

About You

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in a farming community in the small town of Brentwood, California, about fifty miles from the San Francisco Bay Area. I loved spending time with my dog, and perhaps a friend, exploring the nearby creek and spending time in my father’s orchards, watching the seasonal changes and, in the summer, eating delicious fruit right off the tree.

Where do you live now?

I live in Grass Valley, California, a small historic gold-mining town in the Sierra foothills.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I love to travel and have visited Europe, Canada, and Mexico as well as diverse areas of the U.S. I especially loved the lower Yucatan Peninsula and exploring the ancient and contemporary Maya culture.

What are you working on now?

Right now I am engaged in writing articles, doing interviews, expanding my website, and scheduling book talks in connection with my memoir, Watching for Dragonflies, A Caregiver’s Transformative Journey.

End of Interview:

Get your copy of Watching for Dragonflies from Amazon US or Amazon UK.