I was shocked by the severity of abuse staring back at me from the page, and deeply troubled that I had dismissed it for so long. But perhaps the worst part to grapple with was the shame I carried.
Francesca Miracola – 11 May 2023
The Back Flap
Growing up in an Italian American family in Queens, New York, in the ’70s, Francesca Miracola was trained from an early age to keep up appearances at all costs–but behind closed doors, her parents’ toxic marriage served as a blueprint for dysfunction. So when she met Jason Axcel at a bar as a twentysomething, she ignored all the red flags–and there were plenty of them–and dove right in, normalizing his emotional and physical abuse just like she’d learned to do. She even married and had two children with him. But something in her clicked one night when Jason strolled out the door after a vicious fight that left her degraded on the floor, and she decided she was done.
Except Jason wouldn’t let her go.
Even after they finally divorced and Francesca fell in love with someone else, her ex-husband was keen enough to recognize that she was the same broken girl he’d met a decade earlier, and he exploited that fact at every turn. He called the cops to her home with bogus claims; he bombarded her with provoking emails and texts; he stalked her every move; and, worst of all, he used their little boys as pawns in his campaign. Then he went for the jugular and sued her for custody. But Francesca was stronger than he’d given her credit for.
Raw and illuminating, I Got It from Here is one woman’s story of saving herself and her children from the grips of a sociopath posing as a family man–and from the inherited trauma passed down by her own family of birth–while learning to trust in the inner voice that’s been trying to guide her all along.
About the book
When did you start writing the book?
I started writing the book in my mind around 2009 but I wrote the first word in 2016.
How long did it take you to write it?
Four years! I can explain.
In the Fall of 2016, I hired the most inexpensive ghostwriter I could find. She encouraged me to send her draft chapters with the promise to turn my amateur attempt into a professional manuscript. She wound up taking my money and ghosting me. I was left with a poorly written, angry, and vindictive account of what my ex did to me.
Being a newbie and basically clueless, I submitted that awful draft to a publisher in 2018. Thank goodness she suggested I work with Bridget Boland from Modern Muse for Writers to bring my work to a higher level. I hesitated for a bit, having been burned before, but by September 2019 I hired Bridget as my book coach and started over from scratch, re-writing the entire book. I was shocked to learn there was so much more to my story than I originally thought, and I’m thankful that by then I was willing to see it.
By the end of 2020 my manuscript was complete, and I was ready to share my healing journey with the world.
Where did you get the idea from?
From the hell I lived through! I spent the darkest years of my life battling with my ex-husband for custody of our young sons. Oftentimes, throughout the ordeal, I sensed a little ball of light flickering in the distance of my mind. I know that sounds weird, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was trying to get my attention. Of course, I ignored it and kept my focus on the drama at hand. I shared my painful story with anyone who would listen. You should write a book some would say. The light would flicker, and from somewhere deep within a soft, still voice would whisper, yes.
Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?
It was more of an emotional struggle than a writing struggle. I was shocked by the severity of abuse staring back at me from the page, and deeply troubled that I had dismissed it for so long. But perhaps the worst part to grapple with was the shame I carried.
What came easily?
The ability to feel the emotions that were stored in my body. I was literally transported back to scenes of my life as if they were happening in the current moment.
The ending also came easily which I didn’t think would be the case. But as soon as I wrote the last sentence, I knew it was the exact message I wanted to leave readers with. I was so excited when it appeared on the page my arms shot up over my head as if my favorite team scored a goal.
Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?
The memoir is based on my memories and how I interpreted them to heal. The names, locations, and some identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of certain individuals.
We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?
Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love, launched my spiritual practice and inspired me to tell my story with the hope of helping others heal.
Elena Ferrante influenced my decision to use a pen name. She helped me realize that how the work resonates with readers is more important than the identity of the author.
Do you have a target reader?
Women who are looking to reclaim their power and reshape their lives from the ashes. It’s both a story of hope for mature women and a cautionary tale for younger ones.
About Writing
Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?
I tend to write immediately after my coffee and morning meditation. There seems to be an open communication between me and the voice that speaks through me at that time. I’ll write for a few hours or for as long as I’m in the flow. Once my mind is distracted by the outside world my creative endeavors feel strained and don’t land right for me. That’s when I’ll step away from the work and go about my day. If I’m struck by a thought when I’m not working, I immediately write it in my phone notes giddy with inspiration.
Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?
Yes, I outline, otherwise my mind is too scattered, and nothing gets accomplished. Here’s what works for me:
- Establish three key themes.
- Identify the audience (just one or two specific people you’re writing for).
- Decide on the message you want to leave your readers with.
- Document a timeline of events.
- Headline each scene followed by very brief details:
- who was there?
- what happened?
- when did it take place?
- where did it take place?
- why are you including it? (it should relate to one of the themes)
6. Organize the scenes like a movie storyboard.
Ah, now the magic happens! Fill in the scenes with dialogue, emotions, setting, character descriptions… and watch your story unfold.
Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?
My mind is oftentimes tormented by something I’m working on, and I can’t rest until it feels right. I keep at it, revise it, and lose sleep over it until that moment of release when I can say, yes – that’s it!
That’s how it went when I wrote my memoir, and chapter by chapter my coach handled line editing and copy editing. The completed manuscript went through a final copyedit and a proofread under the guidance of my publisher.
Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?
Oh, definitely not. I need silence to hear the voice in my head. It’s the voice that gets my fingers tapping!
About Publishing
Did you submit your work to Agents?
No, I submitted my work directly to my publisher. But I am looking for an agent for TV / Film rights and would love to hear from any interested parties!
What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?
I tossed around the idea of writing a book in my mind for several years before I ran it by a close contact in the publishing industry who discouraged me from writing it. He tried to convince me no one would be interested in my story because I wasn’t a celebrity. I naively assumed if a big publishing house would say no then it wasn’t worth pursuing. Dream squashed; story left untold. But the whispering yes lingered. The Universe has a funny way of lining things up so that our purpose can be revealed to us. In what seemed like a random series of events, I met a She Writes Press author who opened my eyes to indie publishing and the process took off from there. I decided to go hybrid because I wanted to maintain creative control while having the expertise and support of a traditional publisher.
Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?
The book cover was professionally done by She Writes Press. The process was collaborative in that I filled out a questionnaire about the book, its message, the characters, the mood, and the visual theme, and the creative team took over from there. They came back to me with a cover design that blew me away. I couldn’t believe how much they nailed the essence of my story; so much so I recognized the cover when I saw it.
Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?
I’m working with Books Forward for publicity and marketing. Please contact Simone Jung at simone@booksforward.com if you have any questions or if you’d like to work with me.
Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?
I should advise hiring a coach, researching indie publishers before self-publishing, and setting aside a healthy budget. But the only advice that matters is this: if you have a book in your soul, write it. Everything else will line up to support it.
About You
Where did you grow up?
Queens, New York
Where do you live now?
Long Island, New York
What would you like readers to know about you?
Francesca is an Italian American from Queens, NY, currently living on Long Island, but in her mind she’s a free-spirited wanderer. She wants to travel the world, but she’s afraid to fly, although a glass of wine gets her through most flights. Francesca’s mostly an introvert who greatly prefers deep, meaningful conversations to surface small talk. She keeps her circle small, and she’s still debating if that’s a good or bad thing. She’s a breast cancer survivor, but she rarely defines herself as one – probably because she feels like she’s been surviving something most of her life. She’s funny; at least, she makes herself laugh. Francesca graduated cum laude from New York University and worked in financial services for twenty-five years, even though she wanted to be a therapist. That’s probably because she needed a therapist. Francesca finally wound up on her true path as a student and teacher of A Course in Miracles, author, life coach, and founder of Protagonist Within LLC. Francesca is a wife, a best friend, and above all, a mother. Visit my website at Francesca Miracola
What are you working on now?
Launching my book, expanding my coaching practice, creating a podcast, and drafting another memoir.
End of Interview:
Get your copy of I Got It From Here from Amazon US or Amazon UK.