Having done my research, I knew that a nuclear explosion can easily be survived by anyone outside the immediate blast radius if they take the necessary steps, and I was struck by how consistently people living within 20-30 miles of Washington D.C. had the misconception that a nuclear strike against D.C. would mean certain death for them.

JDG – 17 December 2020

The Back Flap

You’ll (probably) survive this story if:

• You consider locks more of a suggestion than a rule.
• You agree the only good hostage is a naked hostage.
• You know that flushable toilets are for wusses.
• You’re down with male cross-dressing, or at least open-minded.
• You approve of underage drinking.
• Velociraptors don’t scare you. Okay, maybe a little.

—

While driving in the countryside, James narrowly avoids being caught in the explosion of an off-target nuclear missile. He tries to take refuge from the coming radioactive fallout in the nearest house, but finds the family inside unwilling to give him shelter or even believe his story. Can James defuse this violent confrontation and convince the family of the peril of their situation? The answer to both is no.

About the book

What is the book about?

That One Time I Broke into a House, Killed the Homeowner, and Took His Family Hostage is a comedic thriller about an ordinary man’s attempt to survive in the aftermath of a nuclear missile strike while co-existing with a family that doesn’t even believe a strike occurred and wants him dead.

When did you start writing the book?

I began writing the book in late 2017, during the height of the North Korea nuclear crisis.

How long did it take you to write it?

The book took about half a year to write, with a break of several weeks to focus on graduate studies.

Where did you get the idea from?

Like many people circa late 2017, I was quite concerned about the state of relations with North Korea. The topic was dominating the news cycle, and inevitably came up in conversation. Having done my research, I knew that a nuclear explosion can easily be survived by anyone outside the immediate blast radius if they take the necessary steps, and I was struck by how consistently people living within 20-30 miles of Washington D.C. had the misconception that a nuclear strike against D.C. would mean certain death for them.

My greatest goal as a writer is to shed light on truth, so this widespread lack of awareness made me feel compelled to write a story to dispel these myths. At the time I started writing the book, I had recently returned from a brief sabbatical to rural West Virginia, and felt it would be an interesting setting in which to place the story.

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

Perhaps the greatest challenge was in predicting the behaviors of the family members, since the situation is so detached from anything ordinary people ever have to deal with in their lives. Another struggle I encountered was balancing the knowledge I wanted to impart with the pacing of the story. There were a couple of important concepts, such as bathing, that I ended up leaving out of the book because I felt they would slow down the narrative. I also felt conflicted over whether to follow through fully on my original plans for the climax, or to remove a bullet from the shotgun.

What came easily?

Happily, the book mostly wrote itself after Phoebe entered the story. I only wish I could say that about everything I write. I also had a very clear sense of the protective measures I wanted to describe and how to do it in an entertaining way. Humor has always come naturally to me, which made it much easier than it might otherwise have been.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

The featured characters are entirely fictitious, though President Covfefe may or may not be based on an actual public figure.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

I consider Richard Adams, Herman Wouk, and Sinclair Lewis among my favorite authors. Mark Twain and Joseph Heller are also good role models for expressing humor with the written word.

Do you have a target reader?

I never write with a demographic in mind, but I’ve still been surprised by the broad appeal of the book. Readers of all ages, even those in school and those of retirement age have enjoyed it. Perhaps most surprising was when the mother of a teen girl took a copy of the story home, and later told me that her daughter had shared it with all of her girlfriends, and all of them were all enamored with it. I certainly never expected the book to capture the teenage girl demographic! I would caution that the book is not appropriate for younger children, as there is a great deal of profanity and some disturbing situations.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so, can you please describe it?

In a longer work I would typically use the following sequence: lay out the broad goals of the current chapter, determine the general plot of the chapter, rewrite it, plot out each action in the chapter sequentially, rewrite it, write the actual prose of the chapter, and rewrite it several times. However, in the case of this story I skipped some of the intermediate steps, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to predict the family’s behaviors until I actually wrote the prose.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

Yes, this is addressed in the previous response.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?

I tend to be fairly precise and deliberate in my language, so I can’t bear to move on to the next sentence until I’m satisfied with the current one. Needless to say, I do go back and edit extensively after finishing the initial draft.

Did you hire a professional editor?

I trust my editing skills, and I ask my beta readers to identify any spelling, grammar, or inelegant language issues that they observe.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

I don’t, but I’m quite fond of putting YouTube nature videos on the TV. The scenes and sounds help my emotional state while writing.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

The book is a novella, so I wouldn’t think of approaching an agent.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

I submitted the story to publications that accept novella-length works, and it won the 2nd place prize in the Bards & Sages Annual Writing Competition. They also included it in their anthology. I subsequently decided that it would be worthwhile to publish the story myself as a stand-alone work and have full control over the marketing.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

I hired a professional artist on Upwork and we worked together intensively for more than three months to create the cover illustration. I have no talent with the paintbrush, so every stroke you see was done by him. I acted as the director, and provided extensive guidance on nearly every aspect of the image, starting from the premise of the scene and going down to details such as skin tone, positioning of the hands, shape and size of the mushroom cloud, etc. Despite my micro-management, he was able to impart his own vivid creative style on the piece, and I’m quite happy with the final product.

For the lettering, I spent several weeks researching hundreds of fonts to pick the ones that would best express my vision for the cover, and then used Canva to size, space, and arrange them, and apply effects. It was much more work than I imagined, and I have a renewed respect for professional cover designers.

Finally, I used GIMP to design the back cover based on a cover template provided by Amazon. Choosing the fonts, font sizes, and text positioning was less demanding than the front cover, but still far from easy.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

This is my first time, so I’m learning as I go. I’m aware that a book’s success has more to do with its marketing than the quality of the story, so I’m constantly searching for new ways to promote it rather than counting on the book to sell itself. Please leave a review for the book on Amazon – my goal is to get 30 within half a year!

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Outside of marketing, the best thing you can do is to make your book indistinguishable from a traditionally published book. Put every ounce of heart and mind into making sure the story and characters are compelling, and the manuscript is completely free of typos or grammatical issues.

Invest in the cover! An amateurish cover will make any casual reader assume, perhaps unfairly, that your story is poorly written. Always make your reader feel that any time they give to your book is time wisely spent.

There are abundant online resources for self-publishers, and you should take the time to watch/read them. I would feel lost without them.

About You

Where do you live now?

I live in the greater Washington D.C. area, out of range of a nuclear blast but not out of range of the fallout.

What would you like readers to know about you?

I chose to use my initials (JDG) as my pen name because every permutation of my name was taken by someone more famous than myself. And amazingly, my book shows up as the first result when typing my initials into the Amazon search! Like many other authors, I also enjoy using a pen name that gives no information about my race or gender.

What are you working on now?

I’ve been thinking about whether to focus on a full-length novel or a short story for my next piece. In the meantime, I’ve been having fun performing stand-up and improv comedy, and shooting nature videos for YouTube. I may also try my hand at composing a song in the near future.

End of Interview:

For more from JDG visit his website, like his Facebook page, and follow him on Twitter.

Get your copy of That One Time I Broke into a House, Killed the Homeowner, and took His Family Hostage from Amazon US or Amazon UK.