I wanted to share my story so that others might have an emotional roadmap to help them on this difficult journey.
Ann Campanella – 3 October 2016
The Back Flap
At age 33, award-winning author and poet Ann Campanella returned to her home state of North Carolina ready to build a horse farm and start a family. Ann’s foundation was shaken when she experienced multiple miscarriages at the same time her mother spiraled into Alzheimer’s. The author’s devotion to her family and her horse Crimson sustained her as her mother’s illness progressed and her own window of potential motherhood began to close.
The voice in Ann’s memoir, Motherhood: Lost and Found has been called constant and abiding, her imagery indelible. Her graceful, exacting language rises above the grief of infertility and the struggle to care for aging parents, connecting the reader ultimately to the heartbeat and resilience of the human experience. Motherhood: Lost and Found was a finalist in the Next Generation Independent Book Awards, the world’s largest not-for-profit independent book awards.
About the book
What is the book about?
Motherhood: Lost and Found is the story of my mother’s descent into Alzheimer’s at the same time I was trying to become a mother myself. My husband and I had just returned to my home state of North Carolina ready to build a horse farm and start a family. My foundation was shaken when I experienced multiple miscarriages as my mother’s health gradually deteriorated.
When did you start writing the book?
I began journaling about this experience as it was happening in 1993.
How long did it take you to write it?
Believe it or not, it took me 20 years. Of course I had many interruptions, including the caretaking of my mother and, eventually, a young child.
Where did you get the idea from?
As I was going through the experience of losing my mother while desperately wanting to be a mother, I so wanted to read about someone else who had lived through a similar experience. At the time, there were few memoirs about Alzheimer’s and none that combined miscarriages and the loss of a mother. I wanted to share my story so that others might have an emotional roadmap to help them on this difficult journey.
Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?
In the beginning, I thought the book might just be the story of my mother’s Alzheimer’s. But as I looked through my journals, I realized how my pregnancy losses amplified my grief over losing my mother. So it was important for me to weave those two strands together. But it took a lot of thought, planning and revision.
What came easily?
The horse descriptions came easily for me. Having been around horses for most of my life, writing about the images, sounds, scents and feelings they inspired was second nature to me.
Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?
My characters came from real life, though I changed the names of some of them to protect their privacy.
We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?
I’m an avid reader, and I particularly enjoy memoir, though I sometimes read literary fiction. I imagine every well-written book that I’ve read has left its mark on me in some way. Some of my favorite authors are Dani Shapiro, Kathryn Rhett, Pat Conroy, Anne Lamott, Elisabeth Gilbert and Maxine Kumin. The work of Dani Shapiro and Kathryn Rhett (one of my early writing teachers) carries an intense sense of truth and immediacy that I would be honored to emulate. Pat Conroy’s writing feels to me as if he has tapped an internal emotional fountain. After reading his books, I feel freer to express myself. I admire the whimsy and conversational honesty of Anne Lamott and Elisabeth Gilbert, and their unabashed spiritual journeys. Maxine Kumin’s writing encourages me to embrace my love of horses and nature and to strive for precision in every description.
Do you have a target reader?
When I was journaling about the losses in my life, I was writing both to exorcise the pain and to capture the beauty and brilliance of each moment. I suppose I hoped my writing would be read by others whose hearts had been sliced open by grief and were looking for companions on the road to survival.
About Writing
Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?
I was a poet before I wrote memoir, so my process may be different from many writers. My most intense emotional experiences typically arrive on paper in the form of a poem. Over time, the most meaningful images from the poems keep brushing up against me, so that I continue writing about them, and they gradually expand into an essay or a story. It’s as if the poems are small buds that blossom into something bigger. In the case of my memoir, I realized that the branches holding the blossoms were interconnected. I actually have an entire collection of poems called What Flies Away that is the precursor to Motherhood: Lost and Found.
Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?
No, although at times I jot down a casual list of things I want to be sure not to forget.
Do you edit as you go or wait until you’ve finished?
I edit as I go. For years, I was part of a wonderful weekly writing group, and I wanted to be sure to bring my very best work to read aloud to them. I ended up spending a lot of time editing pieces of the memoir that I later cut. But I felt like I learned something about my writing or my story through each set of revisions, so it was well worth it.
Did you hire a professional editor? (May skip if being published by a small press rather than self-publishing)
I was lucky to have a community of close writer friends who I shared my work with. We all provided feedback for each other. After many rounds of these kinds of revisions, I did hire an editor. I did not hire a copyeditor as I have experience with that kind of work myself. Instead, I wanted someone who was unfamiliar with my story to read it as a whole. This editor, who was also a friend, gave me tremendous feedback.
Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?
No, I like silence. I’m lucky that I live out in the country.
About Publishing
Did you submit your work to Agents?
Yes. My manuscript was accepted by a high-profile agent in New York. She had some publishing houses that showed interest, but ultimately, for various reasons, they weren’t able to commit to my project.
What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?
After spending a couple of years going back and forth with various agents and publishers and coming up empty, I decided it was time to put my own expertise to work as a former magazine and newspaper editor. As a homeschooling mom, I had taught a writing class to my daughter and her friend and helped them publish five books between them under our own imprint (TheBridgeBooks.com). I realized I was ready to take the plunge with my own book. Two and a half years after publishing Motherhood: Lost and Found, I was offered a contract by Divine Phoenix in conjunction with Pegasus Books.
Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?
I found the image I wanted and came up with the design for my book cover myself. But I had the help of my brother as a design consultant and a wonderful photographer friend who spent many hours editing and formatting the cover photo.
Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?
I do have a marketing plan, thanks to Laura Ponticello, the publisher of Divine Phoenix. She is passionate about transformational stories and has been incredibly generous and supportive with her ideas and knowledge. The plan is a many-pronged approach including getting the word out through social media, magazines and newspapers, radio and TV and connecting with people and organizations that have missions similar to the message in my book.
Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?
While technology has made it possible for almost anyone to publish a book, it takes real commitment to create a quality product that will make a positive impact on others. It’s important to know what your passion is and the reason behind your book. You will likely meet disappointment and discouragement along the path to publication. But if you stay true to your vision and produce the highest quality book you are capable of, you will be successful, before you sell the first copy.
About You
Where did you grow up?
I grew up in a military family, so we moved around a bit. I lived in Jacksonville, FL, until I was nine, then we moved to the Panama Canal Zone for five years. We came back to the coast of North Carolina where I went to high school.
Where do you live now?
I live outside of Charlotte, NC.
What would you like readers to know about you?
I live on a small horse farm and have enjoyed riding, training and teaching lessons for most of my life. But when my mother became ill with Alzheimer’s, I had to take a break from horses. I simply didn’t have the energy to do the caretaking necessary for both horses and my mother. A few years after my daughter was born, and I was stretched between the needs of a toddler and my mother, my beloved horse Crimson died from a severe case of intestinal colic. Then I began homeschooling my daughter, and every spare minute of my time was filled up. I figured my horse days were over. But to my surprise and delight, horses were not done with me. My daughter now has a horse that we keep on our farm, and I am thrilled to share this passion of mine with her. That’s why my Instagram account is called horses_2nd_time_around.
What are you working on now?
I’m spending most of my time marketing Motherhood: Lost and Found. But I have another collection of poetry that I hope to have published soon called The Beach Poems. When I was in high school, we moved to the coast of North Carolina, and I spent a lot of time there. The ocean has always been an evocative place for me, and it was balm after my mother passed away. I try to return to the coast at least once or twice every year, and each time I’m there new poems come to me.
End of Interview:
For more from Ann, visit her website, follow her on Twitter, or like her page on Facebook.
Get your copy of Motherhood: Lost and Found from Amazon US or Amazon UK.